Having lost my precious Chica after 13 1/2 years together, my natural response in my grief was to celebrate her life through poetry. While my heart still aches when I think of her, writing down my feelings has helped with the healing process. My intent in sharing these thoughts is that possibly I am expressing feelings that someone else may be going through after the loss of one of their special family members.
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the sadness i am feeling right now is going to take a very long time to fade. that empty, aching heaviness. i will have a few minutes where i seem to function normally - and then a huge wave overcomes me. she went through so much with me. my spiritual beliefs insist that she is still right here loving me. my human weakness longs for her physical presence.
genesis, my middle doggy is also going through mourning. he never knew life without her.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
i cried and
i cried and
i cried and
i cried
til there was nothing left to cry.
and now all that's left
is a gaping
hole in my heart.
how can a hole
weigh a million pounds?
my sweet chica.
my angel doggy.
i love you.
kelly june 18, 2002
chica
jan 18, 1989 - jun 17, 2002
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There’s a grip
on my heart
the
drip
drip
drip
of happiness
being squeezed out.
but once that grasp lessens
and the pulse of love
is enabled once more
to expand,
the cavern of my heart
will return not to its
previous size
but will boast
new rooms
capable of housing
that
much
more
joy.
-kelly june 2002
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Releasing Chica
Sometimes i don’t want the hurt to stop
because when it stops hurting
it is no longer real
severing the last thread of connection...
so allow me, dear God,
to accept her passing-
and release her to You
knowing that what still binds us
and will always bind us
is our love.
the force that does not
differentiate
between dimensions.
-kelly june 2002 |
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| Maya Papaya... 1994-2005 |
Genesis ("Genner Bear") - 1995-2006 |
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